What Is He Thinking?

I am going to compete on American Ninja Warrior in 2012.

There are plenty of reasons to think that statement is utter nonsense.

First off, ANW is a game show on the American TV channel G4, and you can't be confident that the show or even the network will be around next year. It's a network for guys obsessed with video games, and those living in Mom's basement are hardly the most desired demographic.

Second, ANW is an incredibly difficult show to get on. For those who haven't seen it (and if you haven't, what brought you to this blog?) ANW is an obstacle course show that has held auditions once a year for the past three years. Each year, the auditions have drawn hundreds of aspirants eager to take on the course. Of these wannabes, only a dozen or so have made it onto the show each year. So in terms of sheer numbers, getting on ANW is about as difficult as getting into Harvard.

Thirdly, the obstacles on ANW are ridiculously difficult. ANW really is just a competition to get to represent the Red, White, and Blue on Sasuke, the Japanese obstacle-course game show known in America as Ninja Warrior. The obstacles on ANW come from Sasuke, and they're so difficult that in the twenty-six seasons of Sasuke, only three guys out of a hundred contestants each season have ever completed all four stages of the course. Don't know what it says about the Japanese that they pride themselves on an obstacle course that, most of the time, nobody can even finish. But the point is that even if you get a shot to run the course on ANW, you have very little chance of surviving it.

Fourth, the guys who do make it from ANW onto Sasuke are impressive. Some are parkour pros, for whom jumping across balconies and clinging to underpasses are as easy as jumping jacks. Some are gymnasts, who've been training in about the perfect sport to transition to the Sasuke obstacles. And some are obsessives who have recreated the actual Sasuke obstacles to train in their backyards -- and yes, they're all over YouTube. And all of them appear to be at least ten years younger than my forty years and about 30-50 pounds lighter than my svelte 213.

So why am I doing this? I'm not entirely sure, and you probably don't care. Either you're a fan of the show, and don't need anyone to explain to you the desire to tackle the course, or you've never seen the show, in which case I doubt I could convince you that this is anything more than an over-the-hill ex-athlete tilting at windmills. But I'll probably get introspective at some point and offer some explanation. And in any event, no one's hear for my self-psychoanalysis.

The point of this blog is to record my training, over the next six months or so, to prepare for next year's auditions, whenever they might be. As I devise my training regimen and try to follow it, I'l share every step of it right here. I'll also share the links and books that I find to be of the most help in transforming myself into a world-class game-show contestant. And together we'll figure out just what it takes to reach the level of fitness to literally hang with the guys at Sasuke.

I've already spent a few weeks researching diet and training issues, and I expect to start my training Monday, July 10. That means I've got a lot to plan this weekend, which of course I'll also share. And along the way, hopefully you'll find something that you can use in your own workouts. And of course, you can comment on anything I post, and I look forward to benefitting from the wisdom of others.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to plough through a daunting Honey-Do list before I plot the first phase of my journey.