What's Japanese for "Schadenfreude?"

I know, I know, what's English for "Schadenfreude?" It's a German word that basically means joy in the suffering of others. It's the inexhaustible fuel that drives most reality TV, but it's by no means something to be proud of. And I'm afraid that, as regards Ninja Warrior, I might have a case of it.

Last night I watched Paul Terek compete in Season 24. For those who don't know, Paul Terek is a former US Olympic decathlete and, whether he's still training for the Olympics, still looks the part. He's listed at 6'2" and somewhere north of 200 lbs., so as you might expect the guy looks like a man among boys out there on Mount Midoriyama.

I'll never forget the first time I saw him compete. On the Jump Hang, where you leap from a mini-trampoline to a cargo net and where most contestants hit the water instead, this guy not only reached the net but grabbed the topmost bar of the net and climbed over. Looked positively superhuman. Failed on the third stage at the Cliffhanger, as you'd expect, but still, he looked like if any whitey could win this thing, it'd be him.

And of course, the guy's more of an athlete than I'll ever be. I mean, other than in weight we're not even in the same neighborhood.

But then I watched him last night in Season 24. He's toying with the course until he gets to the Jump Slider, where you grab a bar and slide down the rungs until you must leap to a cargo net. Now this trips up a ton of contestants -- not that many of them make it this far -- but the trick is to use your momentum from the downhill slide to propel you across the gap to the cargo net. Pretty obvious once you see a few guys fall, and totally obvious once you see anyone succeed.

But not to Terek. He comes to a complete stop at the end of the slide rails and starts swinging his body, trying to recapture all the momentum he just wasted. But like on the end of the third stage, when you swing back on these slider-type exercises the bar goes back with you, and you end up farther away from your goal. And as Terek showed, once you've killed your momentum you can't regenerate enough to clear the obstacle, much less do it with time enough to complete the stage.

Sure enough, my man wasted ten seconds trying to swing himself enough, then jumped and didn't even reach the net. Splash.

Now I was cheering for this guy like this was the Olympics, even though I kind of knew he didn't advance. But ever since seeing him fall I can't stop thinking about how this world-class athlete couldn't navigate this one stupid obstacle. Is this schadenfreude? Am I gloating that the Olympian failed where fishermen and shoe salesmen have succeeded? It doesn't help that Terek went to Michigan State and I went to Notre Dame.

All I can do is try to learn from his mistake. I'm a little suspicious, because Terek's fall seems to confirm what I previously believed: (a) on the Jump Slider, you have to keep your momentum and go right into the leap; and (b) studying the course, like any couch potato can do, is of real value.

The danger is that I'll start believing (c), that watching the show on TV is a substitute for training.

Speaking of which, dragged my ass out for another round of the "A" workout. Little scary, going right into box jumps so soon after waking up. But the workout went well; I even extended my time in the Elevated Wall Plank to 40, 45, and 50 seconds respectively. I'm tempted to toughen this phase of the workouts, either with a weight vest or extra reps. Of course, I'm also tempted to sleep in or read in the mornings. Which means I should probably keep things as they are.

In other news, my new 12-foot climbing rope and ceiling beam mount came in the mail. That means that starting with the next 4-week phase I'll be literally climbing the walls. Plenty of web sites sing the praises of rope climbing as a workout, so we'll have lots of options for the next phase.